The cursor is blinking at me, from the top left-hand corner of a blank page, as I force myself (once again) to blow the dust off my long-standing, but equally long since ignored blog.
I didn't want writing here to become a chore, but the ever expanding gaps in time between posts gnaws at my mind regularly, but without salvation. I feel caught between an aspiration and deep-rooted desire to really make a go of blogging, and yet always a feeling of the task being too large to ever really engage with it properly.
What is it that I feel I want or need to say?
My canvas is broad, and potentially limitless. And yet I feel devoid of ideas, and intimidated by the task, for precisely that reason. I feel like a blogging dilettante. Keen to speak about something, anything.. just to get the words down. But without having necessarily the time to structure, to plan, to craft those thoughts so that what I write might be the best that it can be.
I suspect that I suffer from a degree of OCD and a self-imposed need to be something of a perfectionist here. I suspect I fail in that regard. But that's not what blogging is supposed to be about. It is, undeniably, a means of contributing to an ever expanding discourse, discoverable by anyone who knows what to look for, or who may stumble across me this little corner of the internet. But does what I have to say matter to anyone or anything....? I don't know.
If I continue to build it, will they come?
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